Lessons learned through Christ

I have been down this rough road for so long, I finally gave up trying to change things I have no control over. I believe the quote goes like this:
Please grant me the courage to accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things that I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.

There is a lot to speak to here. So much so that I forgot my way a ways back. I put myself on "auto-pilot" and now I'm letting the Lord lead me back to where I am supposed to be; in His light, not Satan's. Believe me when I tell you I have not been out there sinning on purpose by any means... but I have been carrying a burden on my shoulders for way too long and I finally let it go. Now I'm in the process of cleansing myself to bring my soul back to the Lord, where it should be. My journey will be tough, but it has to be done. I have so many vises in my life that had to be put aside and put down for good... All I can do is pray for those that have hurt me and my family, those that have no understanding at all what it means to live "Christ Like". All I can do now is set the example and hope the others follow... in time.

When I realized I could no longer control this problem, I gave it up to God. He takes on anything you give Him. He is always there for you, thick or thin. When I reached out for help so many years ago in faith, it took no time at all before He picked me up in His arms and put me where I belonged. Baptising my daughter this past weekend helped me in seeing the light again that I had "misplaced" a while back.

I miss so much the closeness that I once had with the Lord that I am now yearing to have that feeling back. My heart and soul burns for the happiness I once had... alas it is NOT lost, just set aside... I have asked the Lord to help me through this tough time in my life and He is doing just that. He is taking on the problem/s that I have been facing for far too long. He has helped me in such dispair and helped me with overwhelming joy! The Lord helped me conceive a child!!! How much more joy and satisfaction could one feel? If I completely opened my heart up 100% to all the wonderful joyment I have from my daughter, I think it would kill me... it's so much love for one person to feel... how do you get past this and know in your heart that you deserve such happiness? Because YOU DO deserve this much happiness! Everyone does in their life! God gave us free will to make our own decisions, our own choices... to make ourselves happy and to live in His freedom that He provided to us so long ago on that precious day!

Ok, let me wipe some tears off and come back to you with this: just when you think all is lost, the one person/being/spirit that is still with you is God. He never leaves your side... not for a second! The Lord is oh so good to us in so many ways... I have my wonderful husband who loves me for all my faults and I have my miracle daughter who brightens my day and my very being just being in the same room with her. Oh, and when she smiles... she could brighten up the saddest person... Oh how I love that daughter of mine!!! Thanks be to God for all that You do every day in our lives!

Leanna's first Christmas

We are SO excited to celebrate the birth of Christ with Leanna for the first time! When the time comes to open presents, I'm pretty sure she'll be more interested in the paper and the boxes than any toys! LOL!! She has recently, however, started playing with toys, like her rattle. She more or less looks at them and tries to put them into her mouth. :-)
Leanna laughs and smiles so much now. She's such a happy baby!
Tomorrow is a BIG day for us! Leanna is getting baptized! We are very excited about this and are really looking forward to the big event! I'll put up pictures later one once tomorrow passes.

Catching up

We've been so busy with the little one, I'm finding it hard to get the time to post anything. I honestly should be in bed right now. LOL!! I added a few pics here, from Halloween and otherwise.

Enjoy and I hope you are all doing great!!! We love our little Leanna! She's growing up so fast and smiles SO much and has a wonderful giggle!

Back to the gym

Oh, what fun... Nothing else to say.

Going back to work

It's that time... time to go back to work. :-( Everyone wants to stay home as long as they can (at least I think everyone does), but it is what it is... Right? At least I have my MIL to baby sit for us during the day time so there's no need for day care (thank goodness!!).

Leanna is doing great as well as 'mommy'. John and I had pictures taken at a studio by us (the same company that did my maternity pictures). They turned out SO good! I can't wait for everyone to see them! We also had announcements and Christmas cards made. I'm sure you'll be seeing them soon.

One month birthday!

Leanna will be one month on Friday! I can't believe how time flies! She's doing SO well and has adjusted to life in the Bockover household. As for mommy & daddy, we are adjusting to our change as well. It's amazing to me how much a child will and can change your life and how much you love the little bundle of joy!! It's remarkable, beyond any words.

Long time since a posting!

To catch you up quickly, I went 3 days over my EDD and was induced on Tuesday, August 14th (sort of). I was scheduled to get induced but happened to go into labor earlier the previous day (the 13th). The contractions were too far apart to go to the hospital so I stuck them out till close to midnight (scheduled induction time). By the time I went to the hospital, I was hurting pretty fierce. After being examined, I had only dialated a fingertip. I thought, "is this what I have to look forward to? 20+ hours of labor because I won't dialate?" Well, needless to say, the nurses and doctors helped me out quite a bit. They helped me dialate and provided me with pitocin to jumpstart the contractions even more. That's where the fun began. Once I FINALLY hit 4 cm, I received me epidural. Relief... right? No... Felt good but the contractions slowed down and the pitocin affected Leanna's heartbeat. This went on for 12 1/2 hours. YIKES!! I had to receive two additional injections to the epidural as the effects kept wearing off. Yeah, not good! Approaching the 13th hour, my doctor finally made the call and said, "Ok, enough is enough. You've dialated to a six and you are not going anywhere anytime fast and the pitocin is affecting your daughter. Let's get her out of you." I said, "Thank God!" I really meant it, too! About one hour later, Leanna was born! John and I completely bawled when we heard her cry for the first time.

She's adorable and I love her SO much! I had no idea how much having a child would affect your life, for the better. It's like having a void fulfilled. All the love that is provided through Christ to give to our children, there's nothing like it in the world! I feel I have already changed so much because of her. I feel like I would die if I had to feel every single emotion I have for her. I have completely fallen in love with my daughter! Honestly, I never knew what it would feel like to know you would, without hesitation, put your life on the line for someone. I would do that for her and for John. I feel like my life is now complete.

A day & a half till EDD

Still no signs of Leanna dropping into position and my due date is Saturday. I know I should not rely whole heartedly on this EDD, however, it's nice to look towards. If I do not have her this weekend, Monday morning I'm scheduled for another ultrasound to see what's going on with her and her living quarters (haha!).
My guess is that they'll induce me, assuming, next week. My doctor told me they won't let me go one week past my due date so we'll see. Keep us in your thoughts & prayers, please!

No baby yet

I'm now going on 39 weeks (this coming Saturday). Baby is not into position yet but she started the descent down, then stopped. I was checked out by the doctor yesterday and was told, "We'll let you go one week over then we'll induce. Before that time, we'll order another ultrasound to see what's going on with baby." So has anyone been through this, inducing of birth that is? What happens if your baby has not dropped into position? Will she automatically go down or what? Yes, lots of questions! LOL!
On the bright side, Leanna and myself are doing great! She's pretty active and seems to respond to voices around her. She always responds to me and John (real cute when John talks to her and she moves around). I'm not big on the kicking of the ribs though. LOL!!

Maternity Leave

I left work today for maternity leave. This is the first time I've ever been home for this long of period since I've been out of high school. Other than nesting, I'm not sure what to do with my time. LOL!!
Everything is going great so far. Two weeks from Saturday, the 28th, is my official due date... so you know that means any time she could come. My doctor says I'm starting to efface so I'm waiting patiently... as patiently as I can get myself to be! LOL!!!

4 weeks left to go!

We are on the down hill slope now! We have four weeks to date left to go (28 days)! Of course this is a give/take effort on Leanna's part... whenever she is ready to come into our world.
John and I attended an all day child birth preparation class. John was GREAT in there! He attended every need and was "super star student"! LOL!! He'll be a great partner during the birthing process!
Speaking of the birthing process, after watching these videos today and the hours on hours these women labor... My Gosh... how DO we survive? LOL!!!

Baby Showers

John and I had the best baby shower this past weekend; one at work and one with friends and family. We had SO much fun! I can't believe all the wonderful and beautiful items we received for Leanna! She'll be the best little girl dressed in town and have so many toys to play with! John and I are so excited to have her in our lives!!

Thank you to everyone who contributed! You are a true blessing!! How cute are these outfits?

Photo shoot and eight months pregnant!

John and I did maternity photos tonight. This was an experience unlike anything I have ever done before. Everyone thinks that models "poo poo" about modeling being hard work (I was one of them). Let me be the first to tell you it IS hard work! I worked up a sweat under the hot lights! It was a lot of fun though. John and I had a GREAT time! When we get some pictures back, I'll share a few of them on here. The others, no way... :-)




As far as the pregnancy is concerned, everything is going as expected (aka: great!). I am going on 34 weeks this coming Saturday, the 30th. I'm almost there! Leanna will be here soon!! John and I put together her swing last night. Wasn't too hard, just another Japanese/Chinese/Some-mese product to put together. HA!! At any rate, it's battery operated so no winding w/ noise that would wake her. Never understood that in the older models...

The picture listed is of Leanna at 30 weeks. The right side of the picture is her head. About the middle of it and going to the left is her arm. You'll see her fingers in her mouth. John and I both said, "Aww..." :-)

Seventh month!

Only 2 1/2 to go!

I've hit the 7th month marker... and what's up with people saying, "OMG... you've gotten so huge!!!" My word... I've only grown in my belly, nothing else has changed, except for the boobs of course! LOL!!! But seriously, why do people have to say such things? I was told not to take it litterally, but hey, you don't go tell a pregnant woman that "she's huge"! Talk about a complex!

Well, now that I've gotten that out... LOL! Each month is not getting harder nor easier... all still about the same. I feel Leanna move around a lot these days and sometimes, I'm starting to see my belly move with her. Such an odd thing to see. Reminds me of the Alien movies. LOL!!!

Off for some sun and fun at Daytona Beach!

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Vacation before the baby arrives, aka: babymoon! I should copyright that as no one else has apparently ever heard of it, babymoon. LOL!!
I'll post some pictures as soon as we get back, if sooner!

John felt Leanna move!!

John finally felt Leanna move this morning... or more like a hard kick! Some were really strong and some were more subtle. I'm so glad he could finally feel his daughter move around!! I have also hit the 6 month marker (6.5 months now precisely!).

"Babymoon" in May

John and I have decided to take a vacation in May to Daytona Beach, FL for 6 days, 5 nights. We are staying at a beautiful resort right on the Atlantic Ocean! We are so excited and can't wait! We have called this our "babymoon", time for ourselves to get away before little Leanna arrives. Who knows when we'll actually get time to ourselves again once she's here. LOL!!
Speaking of her arrival, we are getting prepared more and more every day! Her nursery is all set up and ready to go. My sister in law, Stephanie, and my mother in law, Alice, have been planning my baby shower! I'm so excited!! Sometimes this still seems surreal, like a dream I'm having and hoping I never wake up! So many years my doctor telling me I may not have the ability to bear children, then finding the right man, at the right time, with God, made all the difference in the world!
I love you John!!

Pinched nerve and funny stuff

Well, it's happened. She's getting BIG and not much room for her to move around. I'm not that big of a person, you know! She sat somewhere on my right hip area and pinched a nerve. OUCH! My entire right side of my body hurt SO bad Thursday and I stayed home from work Friday. I had the hardest time just trying to get out of bed! Friday afternoon, I made an appt w/ my massage therapist and that seemed to help quite a bit. I recommend getting a MT as they are WONDERFUL!! Now it's just my hip and ankle that are bothering me (and my back time to time, but not from the pinched nerve).
At any rate, I will admit to being lucky during this pregnancy. It's been SUPER easy (till now!). No sickness or odd cravings (knock on wood!). Only craving that's stuck w/ me is potatoes (any style), mashed w/ gravy, of course, or hash browns/home style potatoes. I had to stop drinking so much fruit juice. Did you realize how many calories are in apple juice? I had NO idea till my doctor told me. If you drink a TALL glass (i.e.: from Perkins) that sums to about 300 calories... 300 calories = one meal!! Did you know that? I sure didn't! Nothing but water now or this "slender" drink I found in the store. Awesome taste!
Funny note... our dog thinks he's pregnant, too. I only say that because he somehow seems hungry every time I'm hungry! LOL!!!

Just a bit over 3 months to go!

I can't believe she's almost here! John and I have been talking about taking a mini vacation before our daughter arrives and looking at our schedules with work and Army, we basically have to do it by the end of April or sometime in May!!! Any other time puts us in July and doctor said, "No traveling in July!" So now what? LOL!!
All in all, everything is going well. We had a great Easter with lots of food & visitation from John's family members. I spoke with my father this weekend and he said it was snowing in Texas!! April in Texas and there's snow... never heard of that before. The kids ended up having an Easter egg hunt indoors! Crazy, huh?

Nursery is set up!

Our nursery items were delivered and set up for us this weekend! They are beautiful and very solid! They will last her through MANY years of use!!!

I've attached a photo here for your viewing. Let me know what you think!

I'm 1/2 way through the pregnancy now also. In the "home stretch" as John puts it. :-)

IT'S A GIRL!!!

It's official! We are having a little girl. We are so excited and so happy! Our little girl is very healthy as well as I am. I have posted some photos for you to view. Enjoy!!!

Ultrasound Tomorrow and baby furniture

We will find out, hopefully, what the sex of the baby is. I don't like calling our child "it"... like, "it's moving around" or "it's kicking".
John and I went to USA Baby in Orlando yesterday for about 2 hours! We BOUGHT THE FREAKING STORE! LOL!! They were having a tremendous one day sale and bought everything we needed, including a chair & automan. I have to be honest, this is the MOST comfortable chair I have EVER sat in. It's MINE!!! LOL!! We are both VERY happy with the items we bought. The crib brand we bought is Manuire and the crib style is called "Emma". It is solid wood, stained a natural wood color. The front of his does NOT drop down (stationary) and converts to a todler and eventually, full size bed. I am very happy with this purchase. I'm sure the baby will also love it. :-) We also bought the matching dresser/changing table w/ attached hutch... amoung other things. The theme of the baby's room will be Noah's Ark.
We went to Kohl's the other night and bought our first set of baby clothes! Ok, if you ask me, "Why did you buy clothes if you don't know what the sex is?" Well, I'll tell you... they can go either way. Some are yellow, some are green and a few are orange. Very cute outfits! My favorite is yellow w/ ducks on the front, booty (LOL!) and feet. The front of it says, "I love mommie!" How cute is that???
I'll send out an email along w/ a blog on this site as to what the sex is. We'll also scan in the picture and post it on this site as well as emailing it out.

Movement & Pains

Not a good way to start a post with the word Pain in the title, but that's about what it is!
The baby has been sitting to my left side quite often, right near my hip area and making it (my hip) quite sore! Other than my hip and back hurting, everything is going great!
I feel the baby moving around more often now than before. He/She is quite active in the evenings than during the day time, from what I can feel. I hope that is not a sign of things to come!! :-O
Monday the 19th, I go in for my first ultrasound. If all goes well, I should know the sex! I'm very excited to see the little one on the screen for the first time. John and I have only heard the heartbeat, which is ALWAYS great to hear!
Write me some questions if you have any to ask. I'll be posting some more pictures here soon, hopefully of the ultrasound!!!

Movement! Lots of movement

HELLO HELLO HELLO!! :-)
Like the title says, lost of movement! I had a doctor's appt Monday morning. The doctor attempted to find the baby's heartbeat again, and just like me, the baby doesn't like being touched or messed with. Oh yeah, he/she will be just like their mommy. LOL!! This baby was moving all over the place away from the heart monitor mic. How funny is that? This little bundle was all over the place as if it was saying, "Come on! Catch me!!" When the doctor found the heartbeat at last, she stopped moving the mic and the baby settle down back into place. It was quite humorous. Me, John and the doctor all had a good chuckle. I pray that this pregnancy keeps going as well as it has been.
Also, I find out the sex two weeks from Monday, March 19... that is if the baby cooperates. :-)

Weekend Alone

John left for San Antonio, TX this weekend for "weekend warrior" duty. He comes home today (Sunday).
Nothing new really to report... I'm feeling pretty good except for constant headaches. I'm assuming it has to do with being pregnant. I have a doctor's appt in the morning so I'll be sure to ask.
I bought this new book a few weeks back called, "The Baby Owner's Manual... Operating Instructions, Trouble-Shooting Tips, and Advice On First-Year Maintenance". LOL!! Right up my ally, right? LOL!! The "model" shown is called Infant and it has pointed out the parts of the body, like, the head, called "central processing unit", the stomach, call "nutrient absorption chamber", the diaper, called (you'll love this!) "waste depsitory"! Great, huh? One of the chapters dealing with breast feeding states, "Some users may want to exercise discretion with spicy foods. Milk that is tainted with flavors such as curry, garlic, or ginger will make some models unhappy; others will not notice. Be mindful of when you eat these foods, and note your model's response." Very good information... written like it's a computer! Again, right up my ally!!!
Hope you enjoyed that. I'll write more later. :-)

Setting up site for birth of our baby!

I have created a new blog site for us that everyone has access to. Now everyone is able to follow along with the progress of the pregnancy, view photos and read our thoughts (you can post some too!).
I set this site up for anyone to view us at anytime... best of all, this is free!

I anticipate our first sonogram to be done by the end of this month. End of March I will be at 20 weeks, which is when the doctor wants to perform the exam. I will be seeing the doctor on Monday for blood work (cystic fibrosis, tri-screen test, etc...) and we'll hear the heartbeat again.

John and I are so excited about this new experience, and yet, scared at the same time. What a change we are about to experience!